Cee-Mortal

Since Childhood, I’ve had severe apprehension about public bathrooms. I think I’d prefer public speaking. I mean, think about it, the bathroom is arguably the most private and personal space a person has. Its private because its disgusting. We secrete and excrete everything there. So when it becomes public, you’re subjected to do private matters, in the public setting. However, as normal it is, it still can become quite the conundrum when you are in the bathroom with a person who does not share the same hygiene values or concepts. A five minute bathroom trip can ruin a whole day if you happen to encounter an unpleasant experience. So here at Millennium Male, we’ve taken the time out to share with you our views and guidelines of proper bathroom etiquette. These practices are based on universal principle and blended with just common curiosity.
1. The Courtesy Flush: Its totally understandable if you’re late for a meeting or in the middle of a date with the finest woman in the restaurant, those precious seconds that you attempt to save can go to better use with a secondary flush. Modern technology has made it so that you don’t even have to use your hands to touch a toilet handle anymore. Once you’ve moved your genitalia out of the way, the bowl or urinal does the rest. So a quick wave of your magic wand can do the trick as a once over. It really helps someone’s mood not to walk into a bathroom and see the little trinkets that you left behind.

2. Silence is better than a Golden Shower: One of the most awkward things is engaging in conversation with a another man as you hold your member. Unless we’re good friends(really good friends), there is nothing so important that needs to be addressed, that cannot wait until we’re both finished and have left the confines of the bathroom. So please gentlemen, silence, eyes forward, or eyes directly south, unless you’re into that sort of thing.

3. When in a close space, make Space: Aside from the structure of a Ballpark or stadium, urinals tend to be built in three’s. So when two men a presented with all three urinals, both should choose to the ones furthest from each other. This has been an unspoken rule since grade school. And in my elementary school, they used to say the middle urinal was for those who didn’t dig chicks. As ignorant as is it today, I always laugh when I’m faced with the middle urinal as my only option. Let’s just say I go to the mirror and check my reflection just a little longer when that happens. The bottom line is, the buffer is essential and just more comfortable.

4. Bulls eye: Guys, you’re not holding a fire hose, no matter how big you may be, or how big you think you are. So aim properly, and for pete’s sake, wipe the seat. That’s worse than trinkets.

5. To Wash or not to Wash: the obvious choice is to wash, but please, use soap, its there for a reason, apparently because water isn’t enough. Also, spare everyone the charade of turning the water on while you’re not washing your hands. We can see you through the little crack in the door while we’re handling our scandal. If you’re not going to wash your hands, then just leave. You’re nasty either which way you spin it. Observing these 5 guidelines properly should
get you by in everyday life as well as events where they are needed. It all helps with building class and character, it is the little things that matter in the grand scheme of thing….A little side note too. Use any available freshener that they provide in bathroom, they are all for your benefit.

Its the little things that are the large window which reveals a persons character. One can dress the part and speak the part, but the key is to live the part. That’s the real effort. What’s the point of a date if you can’t leave a lasting impression on the woman. You think your car leaves a mark on her mind? Or the outfit? If you do then you’re sadly mistaken. Here at we’re revamping a old age word in a new aged world. That word is Chivalry, it was once hailed as being dead. But we’ve dug up the bones and gave it a fancy new suit to fit our times. Here’s a few tips on how to use some old tricks that may get you new results.
Chivalry in Dating:
THE MEET: Its mandatory that a man let’s the female know ahead of time the mode of transport you two will be using prior to the official date. It doesn’t ruin your chances of a second date or even a first night hook up if you board public transportation. Your personality determines that. If you happen to be driving to your destination, be punctual, because chances are, she’ll have you waiting anyway. Besides that, it shows effort.
The GREET: Your smile is the official greet, all that hand posturing is for lames. Open your arms slightly as you reach for a waist hug and slide your hands across the lower back as you pull away. It conveys your attraction to her without revealing the animal inside you with the hug being overly aggressive. Need I say open the car door? I guess I do. Do this multiple times a night, its annoying, but its an act that I find essential in refining today’s millennium male.
WHO PAYS? Fellas, if you made it your business to take her out. You make it your business to pay. This goes for All dates(Yes even after you’ve made her your girlfriend). I know plenty of women, independent ones at that. Nothing dries them up quicker than reaching into their purse(Thanks Chris Rock). We live in a world of “Giving to Get” so if you want to get farther, give a little more. It would totally suck to listen to Rick Ross all the way to the restauranand not be “Boss” enough to flip the bill.
THE GOOD NIGHT MISS: I know it may seem a bit strange and very movie like, to walk her to the door of her house or apartment complex but I do believe this is a lost art. Showing a genuine concern for her safety even if its only a few feet from your car will resonate in her mind for the entire night. Don’t do it with any expectations for it quickly be noticed. And do not expect a kiss, that is all in the timing as well as her enjoyment of the date. Let her know that you got in safe, whether it be via text or phone call. That’s about it (for now) just remember, there’s always another guy with a better car and a nicer outfit. But its the little things that you do for her, which will set you apart from the next man and make you a true millennium male.

There is no such thing as equal. Since children we’ve been taught that we were special, but yet to treat everyone the same. But you’re special, why should you get treated like everyone else? You get a hundred on a test, you get a gold star, if everyone got a star for their grades then your score would be insignificant. Our achievements are celebrate but no privledges should be given, is that cool?. I’m trying figure out what’s the use of saying that we should treat everyone the same. That never made any sense to me, and I figured out why. Equality is an illusion created by the superior to satisfy the masses of inferior people in order to pacify them. I mean who wants to feel inferior? No one does, so in order to quell that, you create the illusion of equality. But why shouldn’t special people enjoy the fact that they are special? I guess because historically we tend to abuse the authority that our superiority give us. However, I would like to see the time in which the world was actually fair and equal in any aspect.
The world is built on differences, on those who stood out, some are considered to be geniuses, oddballs, geeks, nerds, or crazy. But in all those descriptions I mentioned can be associated with all those who’ve made history in our society. So the idea that we are equal is nonsense, just take the bible for example. Its littered with people who stood out from their peers. The Hebrews were actually set apart by God himself, making them His chosen people. That doesn’t leave much room for the rest of the world to be favored, for you can only favor one. Look at all the characters, Moses, David, Solomon, Jesus. All special, with stories of being different, not equal to anyone around them. Think about it, the sin of eating the forbidden fruit was that man would be like or equal to God in knowledge. That was pretty major and I could get deeper with that but I’ll save it for another post. (Don’t think I forgot about the justice system either)
My point is that people should embrace the fact that they’re different, if you’re better than someone, so be it. That’s not any of you concern, you’re not trying to be the better than anyone else, you’re just trying to be the best YOU that you can be. If anyone is too busy focused on why you are so good, they’re wasting time not being the best THEM. Is it OK to be inferior? Yes I think so, being inferior in one aspect doesn’t mean that you can’t be superior in another area. Academics aren’t athletes and athletes aren’t academics. In the end its really about the beauty of our differences. Focus on yourself, and if you’re going to take something from someone, take their drive, will, self-confidence and courage. That’s why they are special, if you do that maybe you can be too. There are many different ways to view the idea of equality and being special, positives and negatives, mixed in with my loosely based philosophy. I just thought I’d share why being the same isn’t always better.

Does this work?